Choice: The Doorway to Change

By a Graduate Student of CPL

It is easy to feel like we are helpless victims of circumstance — incapable of making the changes necessary to alter our course in life. We can become victimized by relationships, jobs, family members — that is, until we discover our innate ability to choose.

Many years ago, I was a college freshman “majoring” in having fun and making poor decisions. After a year, I dropped out of school, withdrew from family and friends — essentially ran away from all responsibilities and connections with people. The occasional experimentation with drugs turned into daily usage. From marijuana to methamphetamines, cocaine, prescription drugs, and on and on, I was abusing just about anything I could get my hands on. Waiting tables at a pricey restaurant and selling drugs supported my hundred-dollar-a-day drug habit. It was common to stay awake for days without sleep, forget to eat, and lose track of time; life was lived from moment to moment. In the midst of the numbness, somewhere within, I knew I had a choice of how my life could be, yet that was so clouded by sickening feelings of guilt and shame that I didn’t take responsibility to make different choices.

Then I was given a gift.

It was my twenty-first birthday and I had been up for over thirty-six hours. A friend, with a worried look on his face, came up and asked if I was okay. It was as if time stood still. I was overwhelmed with images of the previous thirty-six hours, recalling all of the drugs that were consumed. I should not be alive! The obvious was no longer deniable. I wanted to change.

I knew that this was an opportunity to choose what life would look like. In many ways it’s no different than choosing an occupation. We set goals and move towards them. I looked to friends and family members to serve as models of what choices to make. I asked myself the question, who do I know that is living a full and purposeful life? It was quite clear that those I knew who were focused on giving and serving others, those who were a part of the Center for Purposeful Living, lived rich and meaningful lives.

It has been over a decade since discovering the spirit of service and my life could not be further from where it was. I am married to a wonderful man who shares the same goals and focus on service to others. We volunteer together and believe that service can be more than a weekly volunteer shift; it can be a way of life.

Our lives are filled with choices and opportunities. We can choose to learn from life’s lessons, or not. It’s that simple! I am grateful for the experiences of the past; they are our teachers — they help us grow and give us substance to reflect upon later in life. But I am even more grateful for the opportunity to make choices each and every moment of my life.